my blog sleep over at A Day in the Life of a Planter Wife

Some of you know I’m the wife of a church planter. We’ve launched 3 churches together since May 2005. A Day in the Life of a Planter Wife posted some of my thoughts recently…here’s a snid-bit, but for the full affect, be sure to read the full post here.

So, I’ve come to realize that even though I had colossal fears when Mark initially spoke of being a pastor and church planter, my identity is far beyond merely a pastor or church planter’s wife.

What fears, you ask?

Appearance: Well, first of all, I didn’t want to “look” like a pastors wife. You’ve got another thing coming if you think you’d see me in a floral t-length dress…

Activities: As much as I love spending time at church doing church-y related activities; I’m not planning on spending every night of my week in a Bible Study, baking cookies, or at an overly planned retreat…..

Family: The idea of procreating a smaller version of Mark and me is more than scary it’s terrifying…

Hence, the cold, wet blanket that sat heavily over my shoulders contributing to the other fears of stretched finances, further education, complex relationships and my own identity.

That was almost 10 years ago. How have these fears changed over the last decade…

…I continue to learn how my identity is not defined by my husband’s choice of work but is rewarded by it, that I am an individual who reciprocally reflects life and passion, and that my emotions, intellect and will are God-given and can further contribute to my role as a woman who just happens to be married to a church planter.


81 thoughts on “my blog sleep over at A Day in the Life of a Planter Wife

  1. You know what is so funny, I actually didn’t know that until my Google Reader show your article on A Day In the Life of a Church Planter’s Wife. I saw your name and thought, how did I miss that???

    So there’s something else we have in common. We’ve only started two churches and have loved each experience. It’s a fun life and never boring!

  2. loved the post.

    snid-bit. at first, i thought: what the heck? its not even a word.
    but, then realized, there you go again.

    oh, to live in cathi’s brain for a day…

  3. Well Brandi, we know we have to stick together to get through the insanity we call “church launching”…I’m glad we have that in common – with a woman as amazing as you are, I can’t help but be happy about it!!!

    Mandy Mac, of course, snid-bit’s a word, it’s the mixture of smidgen, snip, and tid-bit…hence, “snid-bit”!!! You’re more than welcome to live in my brain for a day…you may be sorely disappointed to know that not much goes on in between the ears though.

    Oh Cindy!!!!! I would have loved to have seen that fire!!! I wish we had something like that in Bible college, I would have ransacked many of the girl’s closets back then to save them from the embarrassment today. oh dear. There’s something so liberating about that!!!!

  4. i’m not a church planter, but i can still kinda relate. i’m a missionary. and definitely don’t look or feel like the quintessential missionary woman. and i’m glad for that. there are times where it seems to get me into “trouble”… well, not really trouble, but people don’t want to take me seriously because i look so young and, well, non-missionary-ish.

    that’s ok. they’ll get over it.

    or they’ll just miss out on getting involved with what God’s doing in SA.

  5. can i be superficially honest??? Alece, I was so interested in getting to know you better b/c you didn’t come off as a “stuffy, pious, missionary type”…the foxy hair and rock-star glasses just may have something to do w/ it…

  6. i’m glad i didn’t come off that way. i’m aiming for authenticity, so the real-me is all you get. and i’m a far cry from being a superspiritual have-it-all-together lady.

    and i’m glad you like my new glasses.

  7. Since I didn’t go to Bible College and didn’t know too many pastor’s wives, my idea of one was the lady from Footloose — Yikes! I didn’t want to look like that at all! At least she wanted to let them dance. 🙂 Not a church planter’s wife, but can certainly relate to those fears in ministry in general.

  8. yes alece – your glasses are mighty groovy!

    i definitely break the mold of a pastors wife! and who decided that PW should look a certain way? I hear it lot…”OH! You don’t LOOK like a Pastors Wife!!” My response, “Praise God!!! Thank you very much!” Id rather look like and be me. a simple chick married to a Pastor (who also doesn’t look like a Pastor) 🙂 don’t conform – reform! thats my motto!

  9. I married a pastor but we never went into full-time ministry, only part-time. I’ve been told I don’t look the part, but to you twenty-thirty somethings, I’m afraid I do. 😦

    Oh well, I looked it in elementary school too – in the early 70’s when everyone was wearing mini-skirts and Mom wouldn’t let me bring my skirt above the knee. 😉

    We are, what we are.

  10. well, my alece, if you were aiming for authenticity, you nailed it on the head!!! Plus, if you were a superspiritual have-it-all-together lady, I’m afraid we couldn’t be friends. I’m positive I would set every one of those superspiritual buttons off w/in the first five minutes!!! I’m glad you’re you.

    Tam, I’m stealing your motto. I’m not sure if that’s legal, but I’m doing it anyway. 🙂

    Now Michelle, I need to step back and say BE YOU!! That’s the backbone of this post. I was afraid I’d be shoved into a box that didn’t fit the me I wanted to be. Ergo, if the you that you want to be is what other’s see as something else…who gives and owl’s hoot! Be you, my friend! Aim for alece’s goal and Tam’s motto! I like the you that you are!!!

    I’m glad you figured it out mandy…I must have had secret classes with wf. I just lost the lisp in translation, I’m sure.

  11. oh, and lori! I totally remember that lady! Yeah, that’s a good “what not to do” model for certain!
    But thanks for the validation…for some reason, even when acknowledging the fears, they still pop up every now and then. I’m so glad there are people that can relate…what’s that about birds of a feather?

  12. Cathiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!

    My best friend/sister is a pastor’s wife. She just got married in April and is adjusting to the life of always being in the “spotlight.” I actually had a dream about her concerning that role last night [and I hadn’t even read your post yet, wow!].

    I believe as Christians we are all called to witness and allow Christ’s love to radiate through us to other people. Period. I don’t believe that anyone is “exempt” from that and it bothers me when people use titles to judge other people without looking at what’s expected of them as believers themselves. It’s not about clothes or hats [although Alece’s glasses are very snazzy I must admit 😉 ] it’s about our inner being that reflects that Christ lives inside of us and has changed us on the inside.

    I do understand that pastors have a different role. As teachers of the Word they have to make a consistent effort [greater than others] to be “doers” of the Word as well. That is an awesome responsibility from God and I believe if God has called you for that and you have accepted it, then that responsibility should be automatic. Not saying it’s easy [just like any other calling in people’s lives] but it is possible through God.

    I love you Cathster! Errr okay that sounded a bit like catheter. Oooops. Let’s try this again….I love you Cathegall! Much better. Smoochys.

  13. gchyayles, do you have a nick name? 🙂 I think it is harder on Pastors wives than pastors because I think people give them a lot of expectations without the respect. And a lot of times, they are not called to be leaders, just to support their husbands. It seems like they have a hard time fitting into their local body because of everyone’s expectations. I think it is getting better though. Thanks to all you cool pastors wives that aren’t afraid to just be yourselves.

    Is Cathi trying to be responsible with her time or something?? Or do you think she is playing games with us?


  14. Hi Tawny! I have many nick names lol. Tam calls me Les. Cathi calls me Gchy. Alece calls me…what do you call me Alece? Anyhoo, you pick Tawny! 🙂

    I agree that the pressure is great on pastor’s wives. That’s what I was referring to when I said it bothered me when people use titles to judge people [pastor’s wife, preachers kid etc] without looking at their own stuff. I think it’s very kewel that we are progressing [slowly but surely] from having expectations of individuals just because of their title.

    And Cathi is toooo incognito for my liking. I think we’ll have to abduct her from Mark!!!! **Puts bandana on and starts writing ransom note**

  15. Hmmm….well, I am not creative enought to come up with a new nickname. Les would be the easiest to remember, ayles sounds the prettiest, but I think I will go with Gchy because it makes me laugh. 🙂

  16. tawny! hahaha!!! Gchy makes you laugh – at cathi. brilliant.

    HEY Gchy!!! 😉

    ok. seriously. i think cathi takes the weekends off from blogging, which presents SUCH a predicament for me, ’cause its the most free-time i have these dang days.


    i’m putting on my bandana as well, gchy – let’s go get her!

  17. *Pink Panther music plays in the background*

    Mandy is wearing a red bandana. Gchy is wearing a purple one. They both have guns filled with ice-cold…..WATER…..

    They part ways.

    Mandy takes the left corner of the house; Gchy the right.

    Slowly they make their way around the house, creeping and crawling through the narrow ways.


    There it is! Sitting all by itself. Abandoned. Lonely. Dead.

    Cathi’s MAC.

    Mandy and Gchy slowly make their way up the stairs. Creep around the corner. They are faced with a door that’s semi-open.

    Slowly they open the door.


    There she is. Cat on her stomach. Mark by her side.


  18. [stegall, it’s a good thing i dont like you or else id really be peeved that youre not here. wait. i am peeved. with the love of Jesus of course 😉 ]

  19. But alas there is no response
    for Cathi is in la la land dreaming of us.
    It’s all good we have her MAC
    She’ll have to make it up big time to get it back.

  20. dont be dismayed if we make you barter
    for the alternative might be a little harder
    i happen to know the inventor if icing
    he will cease all production til you come out of hiding

  21. Cathi O Cathi we have something for you
    a MAC laptop covered in icing and that too
    your favorite kind, sugar and all
    O won’t you respond to our call?
    Come, come, the icing beckons you
    PLEASE HELP ME the MAC pleads with you
    this is our final offer in writing
    collect your MAC and your icing
    come take the bait
    before it’s too late.


  22. Perhaps our Stegall is just ‘out’ to please….?
    We all now how much she loves her ‘main slice of cheese’.
    Unless of course, that is, to say..
    she’s been knocked ‘out’ by too much ‘Cold Play’?


    We all ♥ u and miss you C!

    Come out come out wherever you are?


  23. WHat in the world has been going on over here?!?!?! 😯

    Clearly I should have been reading the comments instead of just checking her page!!! 😆

    Oh my goodness. heehee. You guys are hilarious. I think Cathi just might pee a little when she reads through all of these!!

  24. good glory, people!!! I’m gone for 2 1/2 days and you do this!!! So, where’s my icing covered mac, may I ask, eh????

    Where have I been?
    Well, this little stegall went to a water park
    and this little stegall stayed home
    that little stegall ran his first race
    and he took home 3rd place
    and after reading through these comments, this little stegall went weeeeeeee-weeeeeeee-weeeeeeeeee all the way home!

    I’m waiting to see these bandit friends, I love the multi-colored bandanas!

    But, alas, love was right again. I can’t help myself though…I married a hottie! 🙂

  25. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you’re back!

    Am I in twubble??????

    It was I who started all of this….

    but it was SOOOOOOO much fun!!!!!!

    I’m glad you had a wonderful weekend though 🙂

  26. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that we can have so much fun on your blog without you, Cathi? 🙂 Of course, I am a perfectly innocent observer. I wasn’t bored anymore though!

  27. No worries… I like being the older one.

    Tam I can’t believe is allowing you to do this!!

    oh yea she’s sick!!!

  28. hello!


    what has this world come to?

    no one helps old ladies anymore.

    the poor young little insecure-must tear tam down to build self up-is really working on kicking my walker right out from under me.

    and where is everyone?

    help a lil old lady out wontcha???

  29. tearing me down to build yourself up.

    mmm. so classy.

    kickin the walker right out from under me… and where is everyone?

    no one here to help an old lady out.

    what a sad generation 😦

    Brent! grab the blood pressure cuff – i think im v-fibbin!

  30. Now Now Ladies…I’ll take ALL the blame…I DID start this with the whole bandana mess.

    Mandy~I love you and you are free from all charges in this case.

    Tam~You are not old at all. You are soooo young, you would think you were in HS if you looked in the mirror.

    Truce yall…NOW! 🙂

  31. I love old people, I do, I do…but Taminator, I have issues thinking you’re old b/c, seriously Mandy Mac, you’ve got to admit that the woman is sizzlin!

    And gch, it’s unconditional, this friendship we have!!!

    tawny, you guys are more than welcome to come play at anytime!

    And Ms. Heidi…I’m so glad you’re here, antiquity and all!!!! 🙂

    Now, mandy mac, where is all this pent up aggression coming from, eh? I think you need a chips a’hoy intervention. STAT!

  32. stegall you forgot sumpin at the end there when you were addressing mandy mac… you said…

    “STAT!” you forgot HO

    ill overlook it this one time!

    you sizzle too baby!

  33. we alwayf need to guard our mouf

    Miff Mandy – Doubly fo! 😉

    young whipperfnapper!

    37 if not old…
    432 – that’f OLD!


  34. oh beloved wf! Nothing like an old adage to do a body good! However, it must be noted that miss mandy mac had a few good “ouches” on this here post. We need to give her a few poor thang’s, or as you would say it, “poor thang”. 🙂

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