mondays with marjie {oh BABY}

Like I need more reasons why not to have children in my life right now…my top five reasons are

  1. I’d like to finish my ph.d.
  2. Mark and I want to be “settled down” [i.e., actually living in the house we own]
  3. We need better reasons than cute names, cute hair styles and cute clothes
  4. We need to find out if they bottle patience and buy stock in it
  5. I’m WAY TOO SELFISH of my time w/ Mark…I don’t want to share!

Now, please be aware that we do love kids and most definitely want some of our own someday…but as Mark says, “we’re on the 5-10 year plan”.

With that said, Marjie sent me this link of 20 Baby Products that are sure to traumatize your children until they have kids of their own…or at least until the stegalls have kids of their own!

Here were my top 5 favorites….

Thudgard Baby Helmet…baby’s first head gear – now, is this for the bumps from taking off the training wheels of crawling or the terrible-two moments where she bangs her head against the wall until she gets her blue’s clues spoon in her cheerios?

Baby Mop – while they’re down there, they might as well be put to good use, right?

Manual Snot Sucker – ok, this actually made me gag. I laughed, but I most definitely gagged.

Baby leash – wasn’t the 9 months of an umbilical cord long enough? The article does give the warning for joggers not to use this product. Nice.

Baby Keeper – seriously, this is my favorite of all the products. I’ve always said that I’m not ready to have kids b/c you still can’t duct tape them to the wall…well, this one is close enough for me! I sure hope they still have this around 5-10 years from now! Can I put this on my Target Baby Registry?

other products worth the honorary mention

  • the pee-pee teepee
  • Metallica Lullabies [that one’s for you, 5th Street]
  • Her First Heels
  • Baby Toupee & Baby Tattoos
  • Man Boobs [for the seinfeld in all of us]

15 thoughts on “mondays with marjie {oh BABY}

  1. I am laughing so hard right now I cannot breath. Am going to write a post telling people to come read this. Oh my goodness. Girl, you are gifted. I love the manual snot remover – much more effective than just pick-em out of there. What did those poor mothers do back in the day?

    Thanks for the giggle!


  2. i think there are about 9,082 reasons on my list of why we’re still waiting…

    being unready to suck the snot from my baby’s nose is now reason #9,083.

  3. HA! Brian…I just KNEW you’d love it! I automatically thought of you as soon as I saw that one!

    Roxx – I’m so glad it made you laugh as much as it did for me! I bet the snot sucker was invented by a parent who was sick of using their pinky or that weird blue sucky looking thing. I’m sure of it!

    Papa! You have WAY too many children out there via the wonderful world of blogging…i’m thinking you guys have broken records! We all just love you so much!

    Alece! I’m soooo w/ you, I think i’m only in the 5,000’s though, so you’ve got me beat on that one! Let’s compare lists someday, k?

    mandy mac, I know, I know…just in time for your breakfast of “litchi/lychees”, right?

  4. That Baby Keeper is amazing! I am so not a genius or I would have thought of that. Notice that the picture is of a baby hanging on the ladies room door of a public restroom! The problem is………when I have to go potty in public….what the heck do I do with my baby if not in a stroller? I’ve gotten to where I hold him cleverly, while I somehow do the necessary undressing to, well….you know….PEE….and still somehow not sit on the seat,…’s insane.

  5. you bring up an interesting point, melissa…where in the world are you going to store this door hanging contraption? Can you leave the kid in the bathroom while you finish shopping, kind of like a rough day care?

  6. Ahahaha this was really funny came here from Roxannes blog. I hate to see that when people have there kids on leashes that really bugs me.

  7. oh amy! I’m so glad you agree!!! As much as I like the idea of controlling your kid by some type of restraint…the leashes cleverly disguised inside of stuffed animals seems wrong…poor little animals.

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